I'm a bit of a sucker for the occasional woo-woo thing
I love seeing the number 11 everywhere, and I like keeping an eye out for little signs from the universe, even though I'm not entirely convinced the universe is actually sending them.
I've even had my birth chart read by an Indian guru once - and it was fun!
Do I believe in all of it? I'm not sure.
But I enjoy the possibility that there might be something out there that we don't fully understand (yet).
I've also been creating vision boards every year for about 20 years or so, and looking back, I've achieved most of the things I've put on them, which I find pretty crazy!
So when it comes to manifestation, I'm definitely open-minded. I enjoy the little rituals, the visualisation and the idea that we might have more influence over our lives than we realise. But there's one part of manifestation that has never quite sat right with me.
When manifestation starts feeling a little gaslighty
If you've spent any time in the manifestation world, you've probably heard that you need to raise your vibration, align your energy, believe something is already yours and trust that the universe will deliver it.
Sounds lovely... until it doesn't happen.
Then apparently your energy wasn't right, you had limiting beliefs, or you weren't manifesting properly.
And that's where I start having questions. Am I really supposed to believe that someone didn't get a job because they felt nervous or had a little moment of self-doubt? Or that I haven't won the lottery because I'm not vibrating at the correct frequency?
I've sometimes caught myself worrying about this. Wondering whether thinking about the things that could go wrong might somehow make them happen. And don't get me wrong, I do believe that our general attitude to life is linked to how we cope and get through challenges (that's for another blog post). But when life was already stressful, having to worry about the quality of my thoughts was not exactly helpful.
I don't think there's anything wrong with believing in the universe or looking for signs, but I think there's something troubling about the suggestion that everything that happens to us is a reflection of our thoughts or energy.
Life is far more complicated than that, and sometimes really shitty things happen to people who have done absolutely nothing to deserve them.
What science actually says about manifestation
One of my favourite books on this subject is The Source by neuroscientist Dr Tara Swart.
She explores manifestation through the lens of neuroscience, particularly how our brains influence what we notice, how we make decisions and the actions we take.
Our brains are constantly filtering information. We simply can't pay attention to everything happening around us, so we tend to notice things that feel relevant.
It's a bit like when you're thinking about a yellow car and suddenly start seeing them everywhere. The cars were likely there all along, your brain just started paying attention to them.
Something similar can happen when we set goals. When you have a clear idea of what you want, your brain subconsciously starts noticing opportunities, making decisions and taking actions that move you closer to it.
And that's where vision boards make sense to me. We're giving our brain images and goals it can now go and work towards.
But what about trusting yourself?
I've spent years reading about trusting the universe, surrendering to the process and believing that everything will work out. And while I love the sentiment, I've sometimes found it quite paralysing.
When things weren't going to plan, I'd start looking for signs, questioning whether I was on the right path and wondering if I needed to change my mindset. I was so busy trying to work out what the universe wanted me to do that I sometimes forgot to trust myself.
And looking back, I've noticed that whenever I stopped overthinking and started trusting myself again, things often began moving in the right direction. I felt calmer and made decisions more easily. I stopped looking for reassurance everywhere and started listening to what I already knew.
Because the thing is, I know myself pretty well. I've made plenty of mistakes, but I've also navigated some incredibly difficult situations. I've learnt what matters to me, what I'm capable of and what doesn't feel right.
I don't always have all the answers, but I usually know more than I give myself credit for.
And trusting myself doesn't mean knowing exactly what's going to happen; it means believing that I can figure things out along the way. That thought has brought me more peace than any amount of trying to get my energy right ever has.
Maybe trusting yourself IS trusting the universe?
Hear me out.
If you believe we're all connected, that we're part of the universe and that everything is made of energy, then aren't we part of the very thing we're being told to trust?
And if that's the case, couldn't trusting your own inner voice be another way of trusting the universe?
I quite like that thought.
Of course, the fact that we're all made of energy doesn't scientifically prove that the universe communicates through our intuition. That's where we're moving from neuroscience into personal belief.
But as a way of thinking about life, it makes sense to me.
Perhaps I don't need to keep looking outside myself for reassurance that I'm making the right decisions. Perhaps I can listen to my own judgement, pay attention to how I feel and trust that I have the ability to navigate whatever comes next.
I can still look for signs and get excited when I see 11:11. I can still make my annual vision board and imagine all the wonderful things I'd like to experience. And I can enjoy all of that without making myself responsible for every outcome.
Because if the universe really is speaking through me, perhaps I've been looking for its answers in the wrong place all along.
This article was written by Self Cared's founder Nathalie Reiter.
If you or a loved one are going through a hard time and need to talk to someone, you can contact Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14 for 24-hour support. You're never alone.
